Tree Huggers & MTBE

I wonder how a tree hugger gets to work in the morning. You don't suppose they would jump in their shiny, trendy, beemer yuppie-mobile and burn fossil fuels introducing noxious gasses into the atmosphere do you? They must all walk to work, or ride bikes. At the very least they would take mass transportation since they are so environmentally aware. I'm sure they must burn calories - NOT chemicals. I bet they have goats eat their lawn to keep it short and presentable.

I wonder who's hand is in who's pocket. In CA and probably elsewhere too, we have the oxygenated fuel. That is gasoline that's "fluffed up" to supposedly burn cleaner. To make that happen they put MTBE (methyl tertiary butyl-ether) in it. Since there is less fuel (and more air) in the gas, gas mileage decreases - requiring us to burn more fuel to go the same distance. Someone must be making a bundle on the manufacturing of this chemical. No doubt there are "donations" being made to the appropriate organizations by the manufacturers of it to support its use. At the pump it costs us more for the fuel. Once again - we must pay more for each gallon and buy/burn more fuel to go the same distance.

Because of this "better fuel" chemical compound, trace elements of the MTBE are showing up in lakes and streams and drinking water supplies. And since we all know that two strokes are terrible things that Satan himself must have sent to earth, the tree huggers are trying to and succeeding at getting personal watercraft banned from some lakes because the two stroke has a history of burning less efficiently. It's plain to see the smoky fumes from them - they must be the root of the problem.

The problems surrounding this are just too complicated for a tree hugger to comprehend. To them cleaner means adding more chemicals (perhaps cancer causing; kill the people - save the trees) to the gasoline, increase its cost in doing so; employ more people to make the stuff - requiring them to burn (more) fuel to get to work, and make the fuel contain less energy per given unit. This would be by definition, negative gain.

I sure hope the yuppie tree hugger never ate at a fast food restaurant and received food in a styrofoam container. I'm sure they must all bring their own cloth sacks to the grocery store to pack their groceries because we all know using paper OR plastic for bagging wastes valuable resources; cut a tree to make a sack or refine fossil fuels into plastics. I'm sure no tree hugger has a cell phone which was made using hundreds of chemicals in its housing and components. I know the hugger must walk or ride a bike to the post office to pick up his/her mail since they wouldn't want fuel burned getting the mail to their home. And I know they wouldn't have any number of the hundreds of composites, plastics or other building materials used in the construction of their home. I could go on and on...

You know, I guess tree huggers are more perfect people. Perhaps they really are saints saving us all. If not for them I would not be able to live with myself. I'm glad I'm paying the (same) fee to get my registration tags. This way I can help the cause by putting more dollars into the state funding programs which they can use to ban me from what I am far too weak to refrain from. I'll have to be sure to thank the next one I find for the opportunity to receive the help they are providing to me.

Find a tree hugger and let him/her take a ride on your 2 stroke (or any) quad. Count in seconds NOT minutes the time it takes to produce an eye watering, ear to ear grin across their two-sided faces. Listen carefully to their experience of the ride. Capture key works like fun, exciting, thrilling and powerful. These are words and experiences that are likely new to them. Listen carefully for any phrase which might be derogatory like "I felt bad making pollution" or "I couldn't in good conscience enjoy the ride because I was more worried about the effect this was having on the environment." I doubt the topic will even come up. Be sure to later tell others of their experience aboard the pleasure producing, no other purpose in the world except to have fun on, truly a work of art and a gift from God (if not Japan or USA) machine.

Then secretly, vow to yourself to never let them ride it again, because you in good conscience can not let them introduce pollution into the environment on your account because you'll be too busy spreading the work (aboard your quad) to others about the terrible things that come out the pleasure producing, bad for the environment, should have been banned long ago rolling political and environmental nightmare.

I must have the most awesome ported and piped, high output weed wacker on the planet. It's bored carb fills the higher compression cylinder to produce unreal RPM's. It'll cut down a tree with its chain (instead of cord) cutter. Add to that my high output 2 stroke leaf blower which will blow a bowling ball across my lawn, and I don't want to forget about my 2 stroke pressure washer which was originally rated at 850 PSI, but now must produce at least triple that since it'll take the Stucko off the side of my house and remove Greenpeace stickers with ease; almost like it has a mind of its own. Remind me to never lend these things out to anyone who wastes precious resources. And while you're at it remind me to get rid of these terrible, terrible things which have obviously twisted my perception of what's right and what's wrong. But wait a minute I burn race gas in all my 2 strokes - it doesn't have MTBE... oops, it's got lead in it.

I wonder what will happen if they decided to ban designer coffee. I'm sure the true enviro-guru must drink it out of a glass.

Rick

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