Pismo River - The House Of Pain

Pismo is somewhere around 2000 acres of pure silica, though it used to be much larger. The state closed off much of it on account of the "tree huggers" who were more concerned with the vegetation attaching itself to the soft ground than people using the land for anything "fun" like camping or riding. It's a cool place to ride because it's on the ocean, so camping is more fun and more interesting. You'll be camping within a couple hundred feet of the surf... Do you have a WaveRunner.. A Jetski? Bring it too. You can do both during the same trip. Though it's a relatively small area you can still have MAJOR fun. Be sure to watch your speed on the beach; the Ranger will give out speeding tickets to those who insist upon showing off. The speed limit is 15 MPH on the beach. Go as fast as you want inland though. The hills there are more like mounds of sand compared to the monster razorbacks and steep faces at Glamis.

When you get to Pismo, take notice of the Treacherous River Crossing sign as you pass the gate to go in. There is a crossing, but sometimes its worse than others. At high tide, water swells into a low level tide pool which crosses the beach at mile marker 2; though I think there is actually a river that feeds into the ocean there you can't really see it. You have to cross this water. Depending on the time of the year, the height of the tide and when you get there you could have one of several different circumstances. You may not notice anything at all, there may be 6 to 12 inches of water or it may be too high to cross; you may have to wait for low tide. Waiting is not my best quality.

A couple years ago I went to Pismo to do some testing (read - riding) on my TRX250R. It's about a 200 mile ride so I can easily load my TRX in my 4WD S-10 and go there and do my testing and come home in a (long) day. I needed to put some riding time on a fresh top end and do some jetting because I was going to Glamis in about 10 days. But when I got there the treacherous river crossing was treacherous! I couldn't believe it. I had never seen it that high and I've been going there since 1983. It was a river 125 yards across and (depending on the waves) up to 4 feet deep. I had arrived at high tide and would have to wait 3 - 4 hours for the tide to subside.

Along with about 100 other people I watched the water go in and out for quite some time. Many people were stuck on the other side trying to get out as well. The waves would get bigger and bigger until they got smaller and smaller. About 8 to 10 waves separated the high from the low - that meant the water was 1 1/2 feet or 3 to 4 feet. I decided to go for it, at the right time. I couldn't stand waiting. I had 4 wheel drive, and I needed to do some testing.

Everything went well - until it didn't. I made it about 3/4 of the way until an unexpected big wave decided to come in. It got sucked into my air cleaner and stalled my motor. So there I was 3/4 of the way across the river, stopped/stalled. About 100 people shaking their heads, watching. My TRX in the back and all my tools in the cab. The timing of the waves started to work against me - they were getting bigger. A guy across the river asked me if he could tow me out - HE COULD! I just HAD TO DO some testing! By the time he went back to his truck, got his rope out and made it back to me the water was starting to come in the cab. I started stacking things so they wouldn't get wet. The waves were getting higher too. By now they were crashing against the side of my truck and their force was enough to move my truck by 10 to 15 feet with the surge of the water. First inland, then out toward the ocean - ugh.

The guy attached the rope to the hook under the front of the truck; he had to hold his breath and go under water to get to it. The waves were breaking against my side windows. The water level was now over the hood of my truck. The driver compartment was getting full of water real fast. By now I was almost waist deep in water; it was up to the bottom of the dash. Fortunately he was able to yank me right out. When I got to higher ground I opened the driver door and - like in a movie - the water rushed out. There must have been a hundred gallons of the greenish, salty slime. It carried out most everything that wasn't tied down. As I did that I got applause from the onlookers. A couple of people came over to me to see if I wanted to sell my truck real cheap. I didn't.

I was screwed. I was 200 miles away from home, with a dead/drowned 12 year old truck and no real way to be sure I'd be able to get it or my quad home. I decided what I needed was a ride on my TRX! I unloaded my bike, started it up. Somehow I forgot about my problems. After cruising around for a couple hours and burning all my gas my attitude came back. I decided to see if my truck would start. It wouldn't. I keep at it though - it seemed like it wanted to. That truck never left me stranded; heck it never even had a flat tire. I removed the air cleaner; the motor was full up to the top with sea water - ugh.

A couple more people came by to see if I wanted to sell my truck real cheap - it wasn't funny and it was becoming even less so. They seemed to get a kick out of it. Persistence paid off; the truck finally started. One cylinder at a time but all 6 of them got going. It sounded like crap - but music to my ears just the same. I just needed it to go 200 more miles. Tide was now low. The trip home was uneventful. I put the pedal to the metal and cruised at 80 MPH all the way. Sell my truck cheap, yeah right...

The next day I changed the motor oil which looked like coffee, the differential fluid which looked like root beer float; complete with foam, the transmission oil which looked like a strawberry shake and the transfer case oil which looked like the transmission oil. All my tools which were not chromed, rusted by the time I opened the toolbox. I needed some new tools anyway - I just needed a reason to get them.

I guess I got in a little too deep that time (pun). Oh well live and learn. I wouldn't trade the experience of that day for anything though. It is surely a day at Pismo I'll never forget, all because I had to do a little testing.

Rick

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